Stupid is as Stupid Does. It Tweets Too.


I don’t do social media.

Except occasionally Twitter — for two purposes: (1) to follow a handful of renowned radio talk-show folks and comedians and (2) keep abreast of the American culture — such as it isn’t.

But that’s not a whole other post. That’s a book! A series even!

Today I got a potent whiff of just how stupid we are.

There’s this video of a boy stir-frying rice in a giant wok over a tiny open flame and ashes outdoors on concrete.

He looks to be about 5-6 years old and his brother sitting alongside 3-4. They look to be in India – Hindus. Perhaps Tibetan mixed with Chinese.

I don’t expend much energy reading comments en masse for the very reason I don’t do social media: the Stupidity astounds. Overwhelms. “Drowning in a sea of mediocrity” is putting it generously.

Social media ever reminds that I AM on an alien planet and am grateful and relieved that I get to die, that this here ain’t for eternity.

Back to this video of the older brother preparing and serving their meals — quite adeptly.

Unsurprisingly, many commenters swooned.

“How cute” … “nice brother …” “he cooks better than me …” “That child making a meal is gaining so much self esteem. Kids here have it done for them” … “future ‘god of cookery'” … blahblahblah …

But one woman complained.

“… this is very scary and sad! How old is the boy? 4 ??? He is almost a baby himself and supplies his little brother so professionally, that means he does that for a very long time … that’s frighteningly!”

Setting aside her hyperbolic commentary, laughable grammar — “that’s frighteningly” — and absurd conclusion — that he’s been doing this for a “very long time” as evidenced by all of a 1-min. video — I had to jump in. Stupidity on occasion brings out the devil in me!

I replied:

“It’s never too early to teach kids to accept responsibility and self-reliance. Indeed, not doing so creates the very Entitlers, Spoiled Millennials and Snowflakes now prevailing.”

Nicole’s response:

“Thank you for the indoctrination, but I don’t think that a 3 or 4 year old should cook alone by the open fire and take responsibility for his little brother.”

Indoctrination? Huh?

Anyhow, no place better for Smart Snark than social media so I responded:

“Then you don’t understand or grasp other cultures.”

I’ll defer to your knowledge and/or research of cultures … Asian and South American and African as obvious starters — where cooking over fire, with and without a pot, is completely in keeping with their conditions and culture and from a young age! It’s how they feed one another. It’s how they SURVIVE!

Hey, Nicole, Lesson 1: Ain’t no microwaves in rural African villages!

So refresher — I wrote:

“Then you don’t understand or grasp other cultures.”

She responded:

“If you think, then do it.”


My eyes rolled back into my skull, as they invariably do when cruising Twitter. Doesn’t take long. About 5 minutes max.

Regardless, I persevered.

I asked what the hell is she talking about.

More precisely, I asked “wth are you talking about?”

… as it’s come to my attention that social media sorts, particularly millennials and snowflakes, cannot understand even simple standardized English.

It’s acronyms or brain-freeze.

Her response:

“I am not going to discuss this with you here about the global political situation now.”

What. The. Hell?!?!

Global political situation? Where was that referenced, implicitly or explicitly?!

I know when I’m beaten. And bored bored bored.

My eyes had rolled so far back into their sockets that all that was visible was the Darkness of Dumb. The other’s.

I threw up my hands, laughing at her ridiculous absurdities and crying at Just How Stupid We Truly Are.

These Nicoles and Nicks are the future of America.

It’s frightening.

Or as Nicole would say: “That’s frighteningly.”

I’m o-u-t but not before a final slap-down snark:

“You’re shamefully culturally illiterate and none too bright in English thought either. Thanks for the laughs. Zai jian. (Look it up.)”

God help this American culture.

And gimme a good stiff drink. Perhaps a hot toddy.

Just don’t let the competent Tibetan lad warm it in a humongous wok! … {would say Nimrod Nicole}