I’ve developed a habit.
A bad habit.
A habit of not writing stories in a colorful and never-a-dull-moment life.
I know the roots of why, mostly.
As unhealthy / painful / traumatic as the whys are, still I continue.
Takes 40 days of a different / better behavior to loosen the grip of a habit, they say.
Could be. I rarely give myself time to find out. Another bad habit developed over time: giving up too easily. Throwing in the towel — with expletives along the lines of “fuck it, doesn’t matter, the world’s shitty, I’m worthless, just ask my mother.”
A tired old refrain that regardless I continue to chant.
Ugh. Why? Habit. Bad habit.
So here’s what I’m thinkin’ today.
Tomorrow’s a new moon.
Moreover, it’s the Chinese New Year. The Year of the Rooster. The Fire Rooster.
I’m a Rooster. Even better, a Fire Rooster!
If ever there was a year for me to Let The Past Go and Begin Anew, Initiate, Get Back on the Horse and Gallop Onward, 2017 is it!
Recognize the old habits when they pop up. And pop up they do and shall — persistently, repetitively. Like a broken record that just won’t give up.
Recognize that it is an old habit bellowing that same ol’ song.
Lift the needle off the vinyl — I’m a vinyl fan from way back, long before CDs existed — and flip the record.
What’s on the B side? Dunno. Whatever, it’s time to find out. To kick these lingering old bad habits to the curb.
Sorry, guys, you’ve had your 15 minutes — and then some! Time to love you, forgive you and let you go.
The Fire Rooster’s crowing in my ear. However unmelodic, out of tune or dissonant its song may be, it’s gotta be better than the broken record of same ol’ same ol’.
So sing Fire Rooster! Sing loudly! Sing freely!
I welcome your proud bold Spirit back into my life!