Coffee, tea or … oh wait. NYET!

Whenever I see lemon juice, I think of Fry’s supermarket.

(Fry’s Foods, a child of corporate Kroger.)

You might too if you knew the story.

I work for Fry’s. Not because I want to but have to. For numerous reasons but those aren’t today’s focus. Lemon juice and Fry’s are.

So recently a supervisor (J., female) calls employees in to the office one by one. Two other supervisors hover in the background, Inquisition-style.

In her hand is a clipboard with a sheet of paper bearing individual employee names and handwritten notations alongside each.

The conversation goes something like this:

J.: “We’re clarifying policies to get everyone on the same page.”

Me: “Okay.”

J: “I notice you chew gum.”

Me: “Yes. Like others.”

J.: “No more gum. And shirts must be tucked in.”

Me: “That’s contrary to what I was told by a bigwig at orientation. But OK.”

{Note: Who am I to question the inconsistencies and Tsunami of Stupidities — and I do mean tsunami! — at this place!! Kroger / Fry’s is Chaos on Crack. But those are many other posts for another day, perhaps.}

J.: “Also, your water bottle is clear, per company policy. But the liquid is cloudy.”

Me: “Yes. That’s lemon juice.”

J.: “No cloudy liquids are allowed in water bottles. Only water is allowed. Clear water.”

Me: “I add lemon juice for medicinal purposes.”

{Note: Lemon juice is an excellent all-around cleanser, especially for the liver. Plus it adds zip to water. In this dry Arizona climate, you can’t get enough of that H2O!}

J: “Then you will need a doctor’s permission.”

Me:  “Am I understanding correctly. I need a doctor’s permission to add lemon juice to water?”

J: “Yes.”

So you see, that’s how lemon juice and Fry’s / Kroger became eternally intertwined.

____

And how I became just another schmuck-peon … leave your brain at the door! … in a world of insanity that makes Alice’s Wonderland Behind the Looking Glass look positively sane, inviting, logical and rich with common sense!

Oh Alice, how I long to be ye!

Free to be!

And for you, m’lady, I ask thee

Shall it be coffee, lemon juice or tea?!

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The ABCs of the Day

A is for Art.
B is for Blank. What I’m drawing today in terms of decisions.
C is for a Card from an oracle deck.

And the day, for the record, is Friday, June 19, 2015.

I won’t talk about it, except to my therapist.

Won’t write about it, except in my journal.

And I won’t forget it. That moment in the back conference room of a Fry’s store (parent company: Kroger) that shocked me, took me aback. It’s an experience, though it needs to remain untold, that has path-altering potential.

I have decisions to make. In this moment, as in all moments following this “development” yesterday, my task is not to make a decision but to process what happened.

I’m nowhere near that.

But I’m trying to get there.

To get there, I write in my journal.

To get there, I went to Walmart late last night to get thick poster paper and paints. Not watercolors or acrylics. Paints that can be use for fingerprinting.

Creative expression. Expression through art. Art is therapy. I’m no master with paints or pencil sketching or the like. The tool of my craft is a writing implement — a pen — and a writing surface. Usually paper but I’ve been known to write on the back of coasters, napkins, margins of magazines and newspapers, even skin! Anything that’ll accept a pen!

I’m also pretty comfortable with a camera.

Creative expression through other means, i.e., paints, crayons, pastels … it’s not that I can’t do those things. Not that I lack aptitude or ability or certainly an ability to learn. It’s that I’ve not really gone there … not since childhood anyways … for a lot of reasons that do not need to be aired here.

+ + +

Yes, I’ve decisions to make regarding Fry’s (Kroger).

But, because of the nature and particulars of yesterday’s occurrence, I can’t get there through thought alone. Linear thought, reason, logic .. these do not provide me the answers I seek.

I need to be right-brained about this. (right brain = creative spatial non-linear)

And I need to be in my heart. The decisions that I need to make in a short time need to be of my heart. I think I already know the answer but I’m not certain. Not certain enough or clear enough to affirm: “Yes, that’s the right decision and the right direction to go.”

A part of me is afraid to paint. Afraid to feel the feelings beneath the art.

I will do it when I feel ready. Lay out the paper and the paints, maybe light a candle or burn some incense. Put on some nice music and see where it all takes me.

I was going to do it early this afternoon but I need to be alone and for the next 1-2 hours, I’m not alone. My upstairs neighbor just came home on her lunch break. While I live alone “on paper,” I am NEVER alone in my studio when the damn fucking neighbors are there. Shitty thin floors. Can hear their every move. I h-a-t-e it! HATE it!

I am not wired for crowding like this or people in my space. I’m just not. Either they need to go (and they won’t) or I do.

So the art will have to wait until she gets the hell outta there and I can be alone.

First the job then the move.

So much for the post for the day. Suddenly I could use some uplifting so gonna pull a random card from my Mermaids & Dolphins oracle deck (in similar style to blogging buddy longeyesamurai’s card pulls that I always enjoy 😉 ):

Well, that’s interesting! During shuffling, this one verily jumped out and turned itself over!

Contemplation Time cardContemplation Time

“Spend time alone, meditating upon what you truly desire.”

(Coincidentally — or not — I was planning some solitude/away time this weekend … maybe even taking myself, paper and paints into a shaded nature area away from “home” because it’s a source of constant intrusions and stress. Seems I do know what I gotta do! 🙂 )