Shake It Up, Yeah Yeah

Okay, no real relation to The Cars lyrics here.

But things are shakin’ in the East Valley of Phoenix.

Shake Shack is opening in Gilbert next week.

This contains no relevance in my life whatsoever.

I’ve never been to a Shake Shack (despite being a hamburger lover), though I’ve long been aware of its existence. One day perhaps.

This impending arrival brings to 5 the number of Shake Shacks in Arizona. So it’s big news here.

It’ll do wildly well in this new location in a humongous outdoor mall in Gilbert, which is the fastest-growing suburb of Phoenix. It is exploding.

It’s not that Shake Shack’s coming to my general area that makes it blog-worthy, rather what’s coming with it.

C-R-O-W-D-S. Massive humongous ginormous crowds. Blood-curdling crowds!

I’ve observed it time after time when popular food chains set up — Chick-fil-A … Jollibee … White Castle, to name just a few.

White Castle just debuted in Arizona — Scottsdale (aka Snotsdale) specifically.

People began lining up 4 days in advance! They camped on the sidewalk — you can do that in sunny Phoenix winters where it’s like 70 degrees in the day, 46 at night (21/8 C).

People arrive by the hundreds even thousands.

The really hard-core fans travel around the country just to attend opening days.

Who but the Rolling Stones or the Lord could generate such groupies?!

Here’s a pic of the White Castle opening.

Note: This is merely a fraction of the crowd. Only an aerial shot could capture the whole of it!

White Castle_Crowds in Line_1572009211

White Castle opens in Scottsdale, Arizona


The people may change but the numbers won’t when Shake Shack opens its doors in Gilbert next week.

MASSIVE crowds not only on opening day but well into the first months of operation are a given.

This phenomenon: I do not understand.

I’ve tried and tried and tried again to wrap my mind around it.

I cannot.

My deep aversion to crowds prevails. Ditto my common sense and reasoning.

I mean, if, say, a new iPhone were being sold on the cheap, I could understand, kinda sorta.

It wouldn’t compel me into those crowds — nuthin’ would — BUT for a $100 ($130 CAD) phone, a crazed turnout would make some sense.

But Shake Shack … White Castle … even that Popeye’s chicken sandwich that generated such mayhem, insanity, violence, assaults, threats with weapons … it’s FOOD, people.


It doesn’t contain nuggets of gold. There ain’t $100 bills in place of lettuce or a key to a Corvette tucked in a patty for some lucky customer.


Precedent predicts that SanTan Village in Gilbert will NOT BE THE PLACE TO BE next Wednesday!

Oh, I nearly forgot. The first 100 customers in line when the doors open at 11 a.m. will take home a free Shake Shack State Forty Eight T-shirt.

I’ve no idea what that shirt even means.

Dollars to donuts a thousand people at least will be able to enlighten me however!

So things are shakin’ in the East Valley of Phoenix.

I’ll be reserving my shakin’ for martinis in the quietude of my home, thankyouverymuch.