The Regal Cockroach …

Think like the bad guy.

Any good cop and investigator’ll tell you that. Thinking like the bad guys levels the playing field or — better still — puts you one step ahead.

My street smarts plus robust distrust of people plus extending trust only when it is earned serve me well in daily living. At 59, can’t think of a single case of anyone pulling the wool over my eyes, though once an intimate other inched close.

Think like the bad guys.

My adeptness notwithstanding, an email today made me realize there’s one set of bad guys I can’t wrap my mind around:

Scammers.

In general and specifically craigslist. Or as I call it: craigshitlist.

Today this email arrived in response to … actually, I don’t know what in hell in response to! The header read: Cleaners Needed ($18-$20/Hour)

Dear Applicant,

Are you available for a local interview tomorrow morning or in the afternoon?

Please email me back with your best available time. I hope this email finds you in good health and spirit. My name is Elisha Murphy and I’m a Senior Job Recruiter at Online Jobs Farm trying to fill positions in your area. The reason I’m emailing you is because you expressed interest in a position we offered through Craig’sList few days ago and I reviewed your resume and I would very much like to work with you. You can see the details of the position below:

Cleaners Needed ($18-$20/Hour)

We’re looking for high quality independent cleaning professionals and managers who:
*Have existing cleaning experience
* Take pride in and are dedicated to their work
* Have high standards of cleanliness

Requirements:
* Good attitude
* Punctual/Reliable
* Must speak English
* Must have prior cleaning / housekeeper experience

$18-$20/Hour plus benefits include: Health insurance, paid holidays, vacation and sick leave.

We appreciate your interest in the available position. Our human resources staff is now reviewing applications and expect to schedule interviews starting from tomorrow. In order to schedule your interview you have to register yourself on our website after that you’ll see details of available position and location of the interview inside your account.

Please visit www.Onlinejobsfarm.com and fill out your application so we can process your info and schedule your interview

We apologize in advance, but due to the high volume of resumes we receive, we only respond to those candidates who register atwww.Onlinejobsfarm.com. Once you’ve completed your registration, we will set a time for an interview. If tomorrow is inconvenient, you can reschedule it at our website after completing your registartion

Looking forward to meeting you.

Regards,

Elisha Murphy

Senior Job Recruiter

Online Jobs Farm
Email: Hr@OnlineJobsFarm.com

Web: www.Onlinejobsfarm.com

+ + +

Congrats if you got through that entire POS! I quit after the first sentence!

And to your question,”Elisha”: NO I AM NOT AVAILABLE FOR AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW MORNING OR AFTERNOON OR ANY TIME FROM NOW INTO ETERNITY!

Motherfucker.

Scammers are bottom-feeders. They’re worse than cockroaches. In their maliciousness, they concoct all modes and means to scam others out of money, their identities, etc. etc.

I’m a bright gal. Imaginative. Worldly-wise. I can wrap my mind around SO many things. Stretch to understand so very much in life. Stuff distasteful, nefarious, harmful. I can even understand a LOT of the criminal mind.

Except for these scamming scumbags.

I do my small part by posting warnings and flagging. I’m thoughtful that way, I suppose. Not that it does a whit of good.

Plus in this case, the header alone screeched SCAM! Mine is a town of minimum-wage jobs. NO CLEANER MAKES $18-20 here!!

Still, some naive trusting people will reply. One or more might even reveal that all-important Social Security number to these dirtbags.

If I could douse “Elisha Murphy, Senior Job Recruiter” and every one of “her” motherfucking ilk with Raid roach spray, I would.

They’re despicable diseased Creatures of the Cesspool. Whose ways and thoughts I shall not understand.

They make the cockroach look positively regal.

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