GO! GO! GO! shifts toward slow slow slooow

Go go go go go go go!

Gee. Go! One more for good measure. 🙂

Go! best describes life since July 1, when I received notice to vacate. Since then, it’s as the gate at the track were lifted and the horses off!

Gallup! Gallup! Gallup! Go! Go! Go! Gooooooo!

An arduous search for new digs. A residence departure extraordinarily demanding of my time and energy. A new place begging for repairs and beautification including full-on interior painting.

Two jobs. One I like with a fairly consistent schedule. One I loathe with an unpredictable schedule plus all physical in nature.  There’s no sign stating “Please Leave Your Brain at the Door” at Fry’s. But there should be.

Gee. Go! Go! Go! I’ve not stopped moving — REALLY MOVING — since early July.

My fuel to maintain the pace? Adrenalin. Sheer adrenalin.

Will. Things need to get done, I do them. I do too what others should be doing and don’t due to laziness and lack of work ethic. Doing my job and that of 2-3 others is standard operating procedure.

Gees. I wish people would do their part! Maybe I could rest some. Maybe.

Despite early appearances, this post isn’t all doom ‘n’ gloom. On the contrary.

The move is done.

The new place painted.

Still have two (PT) jobs — the one with as unpredictable a schedule as ever.

The Go! Go! Go! Load is lightening by virtue of completed projects and tasks. I’m beginning … just beginning … to slow down some. To rest as the cold reason requests of us.

But I’ll tell you the real reason for this shift toward slowing down. A not insignificant one.

It was a decision, mulled for some time, that took courage. A bold move (for me, not for most) and hopefully, ultimately a game-changer.

I quit the Saturday shift at Fry’s. (the job I’m chomping at the bit to dump, speaking of horses!)

Do not misunderstand. I’m grateful for employment in this gawd-awful Obama-designed economy of 94 million Americans who are not working/cannot find jobs.

It is menial work for minimum wage. I can do better. Should be doing better. Am capable of doing SO. MUCH. BETTER. HAVE DONE so much better, especially before Obama and his socialist regime took over in 2008.

The point? The point is I quit the Saturday shift at Fry’s. In doing so, released myself from the Double-Duty of shifts at two jobs that collectively made for around 12-hour Saturdays.


No rest for the weary!

Very very very very rarely do I do positive for myself when it concerns work and jobs. I have so many slave / slave-river issues rooted in childhood and my father and past lives, it ain’t fucking funny!

The point?

Learning to choose good for myself, generally but most of all in work/jobs/labor, is an epic journey. So even the smallest step — like dropping the Saturdays at Fry’s because it was draining the life outta me and keeping me on that Go! Go! Go! hamster treadmill — is significant.

The mojo and magic of Halloween, my favorite holiday, is what most inspired me. What better day for casting off what chains?

I gotta admit, I LIKE this feeling. {sssssssssh, hope my dad’s not listening; he’d turn over in his grave if for a moment he perceived me not working myself to the bone}

What feeling do I like? Liberation.  Shackle by shackle.

Things are far from perfect. But they’re better. They’re improving, starting with an unplanned move to Arizona in 2013.

Know I shouldn’t want this* but I want to be free.

(*neither of my parents would desire, support or allow this for me)

One less day at Fry’s … one less shift … one less simple 4-hour shift on Saturday … is making all the difference. In my efforts toward stepping off the Go! Go! Go! train … toward recovering health … toward restoring my energy rather than depleting it.

By casting off one simple Saturday shift, I created just a little more room to breathe. To rest. To contemplate and create. To just be.

And maaaaaybe maaaaaaybe down the road begin having fun again! {shhhhhhh, don’t let my dad hear, it’d mean the whip!}

G is for Go! Go! Go!  And for Goodness that I surreptitiously seek behind the backs of forces who would seek to refuse, reject and destroy it.

I live in interesting changing times. Not because of but certainly assisted by one small choice, one seemingly innocuous choice: Dropping the Saturday shifts at Fry’s.

I invite better and better into my life so that I may be free. Free to be. Me.


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