It’s just around the corner, my favorite holiday of all. Halloweeeeeeeeen!
The time of year when the veil’s between Here and There’s paper thin. The time when goblins, ghosts, witches, wizards can come out and play and mingle with (mere) mortals without fear of reprisals like hangings and fires.
It’s the time to dress up and be whoEVER you wanna be for a day and a night. To channel your buried inner self or perhaps a self from a previous incarnation.
Halloween is the time of folklore and fantasy. Of spirit and spookiness. Of mojo and magic and mystery.
Sooooo, for the past month or so, I’ve had my eye — not of a newt — on this beloved day.
This year it falls on a Saturday. Great for the trick-or-treaters and parents and partying — if that’s how you roll — conjuring, casting spells or staring silently into a single candle flame and stating your prayers.
I’ll be at work that evening. Though part of me’s sad to be missing the celebration, I’m OK with that. I like that job. I’d be there double my 11 hours a week if I could!
The holiday won’t entirely pass me by. There IS a station cat who keeps me company! Not black. Still, I’ll take it. 🙂
However, I’ve also got a second PT job, like most Americans, those lucky enough to have employment, that is.
I fairly detest that job. No need to articulate the many reasons why. I’d drop it in a heartbeat — less than! — if something better came along. (I am looking …)
Saturdays are my double shifts. I go from the job I detest to the job I love. Makes Saturdays loo0ong — about 12 hours in committed time to both.
Fine when you’re 23. At 58, it’s a bit harder.
More importantly, the job I detest sucks the life outta me. Not in good vampire style. Despite the ill effects, I’ve consented to work the double Saturday shifts because I need the money. And the work.
After going back and forth back and forth back and forth, weighing the benefits and detriments of the double Saturdays … after consulting with a very gifted intuitive on my tentative decision to drop Saturdays at the shit job … and after having that non-newt eye on the approaching Halloween … I decided:
No more Saturdays at the yuck job. Starting on Halloween, officially.
To an average person, this decision would be hardly newsworthy.
However, I’m far (far far!) from average. I’m an incredibly hard worker, by nature, with slave issues. And endurance issues. Poverty issues and value (as in personal value and worth) issues.
Most of all, I have survival issues. It’s complicated but part of why I hang onto things I hate or are no good for me. When the alternative (death) is worse, you keep what you have and do WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO SURVIVE.
Without creating bad karma.
Hence the loathsome Fry’s job.
Halloween is HAPPINESS! Halloween is joy. If you’re going to release that which shackles you, if you’re going to stretch for shapeshifting — for me, that means a little more freedom and creativity in life — what better day than … Halloweeeeeeeennnnnn?!?
So yes, that night, you won’t see me howling at the moon (rather, running a radio board). However, my heart will be howling! Reaching for a treat –one liberating step away from that which I tolerate (barely!) — and casting off the (double-shift) trick.
A boooooootiful day to cast away … and to pray.