Getting … (ahem) Creative with Curtains

It’s creative anyhow.

Lemme show you sumthin’.

You recognize this?


A bicycle wall mount, right?



Not in this case.

It’s a bracket for a curtain rod in my place. An unevenly-mounted rod at that. Can you see the arch? And the bracket on the far right?


Rather, it was.

When I moved into this rental mobile home in September, it was pretty … um … trashy. Grunge Ghetto. A fixer-upper in polite terms.

First order of business has been painting — the ENTIRE place! — and removing the crap in an extensive overhaul from Grunge Ghetto to Space Beautiful.

Or, simply, Space Liveable.

That curtain rod held up by bike mounts was long. Spanned the entire length of a wall of windows. The primary wall at the front of the home, no less!

There’s no accounting for taste. How often did my dad say that when I was growing up?

Lemme show you a couple other … um … features of my place.


No, I was not drunk when I snapped that pic. That curtain rod in the bedroom still stands. Moreover, it’s a highlight in the room because it’s right there at the entrance. It’s also the view from my bed.

Pretty f-ing ugly, n’est pas?

Here’s the bedroom’s second curtain rod:


Hanging to dear life by a thread. Directly above my head.

Swear to God, it’s surprising that entire thing — also quite long — hasn’t come crashing down in the middle of the night! Awakening me from slumber. Frightening me to death. Bashing me on the head. Scarring me for life. Giving me cause for a lawsuit.

Scratch that. That’s the modern typical American. Rushing to sue over the most ridiculous “causes.” Many of them concocted. Books have been written on conjuring up phony lawsuits! Yes, we’re* that pathetic.

*Not me. Or my friends/family.

Back to the curtain rods.

The one with the bike mounts is bye-bye. Earmarked for a thrift store.

The walls are since painted and stand bare, sans window treatments, since reportedly the terrible windows (don’t get me started!) are to be replaced toward month’s end.

Where once stood a bike mount — barely, hanging by its butterfly anchor — is this:


No rod. No nothing. Save plenty of spackle to repair gaping holes from bike mounts and a serene cheerful light sea blue paint. The phone camera can’t do it justice.

The bedroom rods are thiiiiiiis close to meeting a similar fate.  And a well-deserved fate is it.

I make no apologies for having good taste.

Above all, I make none for wanting — nee needing — quality. Quality in work. Quality quality quality. In all things. Be the task menial or grand, quality matters. It’s my driving force. Woven into my being by birth and by temperament.

Shoddy work, I recoil. I see red. I wonder what’s wrong with people!

Tomorrow, Tuesday Oct. 13, not only marks the end to a pair of pret-ty tacky — if not threatening! haha — curtain rods but a huge interior paint job that’s occupied-consumed all my free time for some time.

The two remaining bedroom walls. Tomorrow. Paint. YES!

I’ve no idea what’s going to go where those rods are. I really dislike curtains. Hence a riddle to be revealed, a mystery to be solved.

Interestingly, today (Oct. 12) is the new moon. In Libra no less!

Libra is beautification. Interior improvements. Aesthetics. New moons are for planting seeds.

Perfect time to rid myself of rods. All rods in my life. No relation to Serling. Steward. Steiger. Or A-Rod.

Well, A-Rod I could do without …


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