Coffee, tea or … oh wait. NYET!

Whenever I see lemon juice, I think of Fry’s supermarket.

(Fry’s Foods, a child of corporate Kroger.)

You might too if you knew the story.

I work for Fry’s. Not because I want to but have to. For numerous reasons but those aren’t today’s focus. Lemon juice and Fry’s are.

So recently a supervisor (J., female) calls employees in to the office one by one. Two other supervisors hover in the background, Inquisition-style.

In her hand is a clipboard with a sheet of paper bearing individual employee names and handwritten notations alongside each.

The conversation goes something like this:

J.: “We’re clarifying policies to get everyone on the same page.”

Me: “Okay.”

J: “I notice you chew gum.”

Me: “Yes. Like others.”

J.: “No more gum. And shirts must be tucked in.”

Me: “That’s contrary to what I was told by a bigwig at orientation. But OK.”

{Note: Who am I to question the inconsistencies and Tsunami of Stupidities — and I do mean tsunami! — at this place!! Kroger / Fry’s is Chaos on Crack. But those are many other posts for another day, perhaps.}

J.: “Also, your water bottle is clear, per company policy. But the liquid is cloudy.”

Me: “Yes. That’s lemon juice.”

J.: “No cloudy liquids are allowed in water bottles. Only water is allowed. Clear water.”

Me: “I add lemon juice for medicinal purposes.”

{Note: Lemon juice is an excellent all-around cleanser, especially for the liver. Plus it adds zip to water. In this dry Arizona climate, you can’t get enough of that H2O!}

J: “Then you will need a doctor’s permission.”

Me:  “Am I understanding correctly. I need a doctor’s permission to add lemon juice to water?”

J: “Yes.”

So you see, that’s how lemon juice and Fry’s / Kroger became eternally intertwined.


And how I became just another schmuck-peon … leave your brain at the door! … in a world of insanity that makes Alice’s Wonderland Behind the Looking Glass look positively sane, inviting, logical and rich with common sense!

Oh Alice, how I long to be ye!

Free to be!

And for you, m’lady, I ask thee

Shall it be coffee, lemon juice or tea?!


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