Confusion on Crack. C’est Corporate!

I’ve landed a job!

Apparently.

Ending a rigorous, depressing, exhausting and All Things related to Marxist Obama Destroying America 10-month search.

Possibly.

But don’t don the party hats just yet!

After a month of the Classic Left Hand Not Knowing What The Right Hand’s Doing of Corporate … of communications gone amok if they’ve gone anywhere beside the abyss … mismanagement … poor management … no management … a blip of a light appears at the end of the long tunnel.

I’ve been offered a job! In a supermarket.

Apparently.

Apparently because it’s still possible that the person hiring still has me pegged for the bakery job that I cannot do* instead of the in-house cafe job that I can do.

*cannot do as in it conflicts with my weekend job at the radio station that I love and am in no way gonna give up!

In an hour, I go in for the required drug screening. Nothing moves forward until it’s establish that I’m not high and/or haven’t been high recently. No problem there. I’ve not been high on anything. Including life! 😉

Once that’s established, I presumably move into an orientation or training. No idea when or where.

All this depends on one simple fact still to be definitively established: I’m to be working in the in-store cafe. Not the bakery.

‘Cause ya never know with Corporate!

And with this process fraught with muck and mire, misdirections and muddled messes from the get-go for this past month, well, I may find myself seate in the CEO’s* fancy plush chair instead of standing inside a little supermarket cafe tamping espresso grounds and pouring coffees!

*I’m not after the CEO’s job. Or any manager’s.

For of the many facts and truths I’ve come to learn and know from hard experience with Corporate, one stands brightly above the rest:

Corporate is Confusion on Crack.

It’s inefficient … if you’re lucky. Convoluted … for certain. A massive train wreck with thousands upon thousands of left hands being utterly unaware that the right hands even exist.

No thank you.

My intelligence and especially gift at intelligent design prevent me from assuming a Corporate CEO seat. Even a manager’s post, with all that insanity, inefficiency and ineptitudes, would be more than I could stomach.

I cannot believe I’m writing this but it’s true: The peon position’s probably the best seat in a Corporate House.

And I’ve got one.

Apparently.

I’ll know more anon when the manager and I meet and confirm once and for all, that yes … I am being hired for the cafe … and not for the bakery as originally discussed.

Would behoove us to get this signed in blood. Or at the very least red ink. (I’ve got deep and permanent needle phobia due to a trauma with a doctor in childhood.)

You see, one can never be too certain when Corporate’s involved. Only too reasoning, clear in thought and efficient. 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Confusion on Crack. C’est Corporate!

  1. @longeye — hahahaah! The poppyseed muffin made famous by the Seinfeld show! Employers typically take urine, not blood, samples. But yesterday’s test was yet another testing mode I’d not encountered or even heard of before. Wait for the blog post. 😉

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