where’s a DNA forensic team when ya need one?!

I don’t like missing a day of blogging, never mind days in a row. Unless the reasons are extraordinarily good, like I’m on the road and sleeping out in the proverbial middle of nowhere, where you’re lucky to get even a bar of a cell-tower signal!

However, as a master procrastinator of writing as well as a person too prone to dropping the writing ball, I’m now all too aware of the consequences when I don’t blog or at least write daily. That includes journaling. Writing daily is something I’m actively pursuing and endeavoring to do this year. In fact, it’s No. 1 on the to-do list of 2015.

Sometimes life happens and I can’t get here. I get that. Unfortunately, the reason for my recent absence is nothing as fun as a road trip. Or even having a tooth root-canaled.

And a a Dental Queen since age 6, I know a llllllllllllll about root canals *and plenty more!!!*

No, the reason I was absent was not a road trip. Or root canal. Or a a sudden radio-contest win that took me to the Bahamas.

It wasn’t overwork (kinda hard to do when you work a skimpy 11 hours a week!) or being called to a friend’s or family’s home out of state due to an emergency. (Thank God for that!)

No, I was done and out courtesy of a migraine.

I’ve never written much about migraines. For one very simple reason: They are painful to write about and very personal.

A lesser but still noteworthy reason is that migraines are impossible to convey to one who doesn’t get them. Descriptions, no matter how vivid, fail.

“A semi-truck in flames ramming repeatedly into the inside walls of my skull” doesn’t cut it.

“A thousand swords slicing through the brain while a jackhammer pounds relentlessly on top of the skull.” Again, a pallid description.

“Bone-crunching back-breaking blinding pain with nausea (or vomiting for some migraineurs), profound aversion to sounds and/or lights and a total disconnect from ALL things, including one’s one mind.” Again, doesn’t begin to convey the debilitation of a migraine.

Migraines, as you may or may not know, are genetic. My sibling gets them and at a far more severe level than I. We don’t know which of our parents or grandparents got them. They are hell on earth. They are tricky to live through and even trickier to figure out in terms of triggers.

Because what you’ve likely read about migraines is hogwash.

“They’re caused by red wine. Chocolate. Certain cheeses. Certain nitrates found in meats and sausages.” The list is endless. And the list is wrong.

For certain migraineurs, red wine or chocolate, the so-called classic migraine triggers, are indeed triggers. For many more, myself included, they have absolutely ZERO effect.

Every individual is unique (so you can toss out that whole Obama / Marxist / liberal / socialist stupid view that we’re all the same and should all be equal in life. BS!). Too, every migraineur is unique. What’s a trigger for person A — assuming person A can even figure it out, a mighty accomplishment indeed! — is not a trigger for person B. And on it goes.

Fact is, identifying triggers is an effort as elusive as capturing Big Foot.

And just as the one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work in identifying triggers — if you’re lucky enough to get wind of potential triggers, that is! — to the so-called remedies. Aptly named — so-called remedies. Because as the vast majority of migraineurs will tell you, there is no remedy. There is no cure. And you’re damn lucky and one of the rare ones if you find ANYTHING that brings relief short of a bullet.

Yes, they’re that painful. Disorienting. Debilitating.

I really don’t care to go on. I just wanted to briefly address this touchy topic. And say that if you happen to be a person who gets migraines, I empathize and sympathize, deeply so. If you’re not, you are one lucky son-of-a-gun! Migraines are hell on earth.

My last one persisted for about 5 days. One of the longer ones of recent history. A particularly rough one this round too. It is lifted of its own “accord” (as no remedy or relief on my part does a whit of good). I have a brain again. My synapses are firing again. I can have a thought again. Not only have a thought but hold it.

I’m stupendously relieved to be lifted out of that misery and to be able to enjoy some mental coherency again, engage with life and the world again.

Truth told, if research scientists ever located the migraines gene, I’d happily support them manipulating mankind’s DNA for its removal! Yes, they are just that dreadful.


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