Going back to the Gratitude List

I’m no stranger to darkness.

Example: Washington state / Puget Sound 2006-11 and I’m not referring solely to the sunless cold bone-chillingly damp climate. I mean Darkness, pitch-black, in its entirety, whole and consuming.

I learned a tremendous amount in those five years, some of it good, much of it painful. One thing I learned that’s stayed with me is gratitude.

In my darkest hour, gratitude came to light / Light and I came to gratitude. Looking back, I can’t claim that it was faith that saved my life. It was gratitude. Though I had so little, I grew grateful for all that I had. If I had two cans of beans, I felt blessed because it meant I could feed myself with one and give one to someone with less than I.

I became grateful for the dollar in my wallet that allowed me to buy a cup of coffee. I’d think of gratitude, prayerfully, as I handed the dollar to a barista. They say when you’re really really poor, you never forget. I believe that to be true for some people; for me, it’s so been.

I’m going through a hard time and important time, a challenging time and a crisis, particularly around stability/foundation and home (post prior reveals some of that).
I’ve often thought of those dark years in Tacoma and the gratitude list that I came to write because of them. It hardly mattered what went on the list. Most often it was “small” things, seemingly mundane things in the eyes of particularly those with much more.

I think it’s time to begin that daily practice again, not because I’ve lost gratitude, rather am overwhelmed and flailing in stormy waters of in particular HOME AND SECURITY: the fundamentals of living.

Whether I write the gratitude lists publicly or privately in my journal, I need to get back to it and I want to. It may or may not quote-unquote change the world or fix my problems/issues.

It changes how we see the world. Less dark. Less threatening. Less overwhelming. Less burdensome. Less challenging. Less hard. Less dark, again. Brighter.
So here I go.

Gratitude List 1 (9-15-14)

1. Jason, the boss at the radio station, offered this Sunday’s evening shift again! {following last week’s same offer}. It’s more work {two weekly shifts, up from one}, more experience, more opportunity to develop skills and serve.

2. Jason liked my editing practice tests and opportunity is unfolding! {Over the weekend, he gave me 3-to-3-1/2-minute audio news stories to distill/edit to 30-45 seconds.} He’s eyeing and/or grooming me for roles in editing as well as writing and reporting news stories. This is my dream unfolding! It’s passion, it’s my heart singing, that work and that work for this station specifically!

3. I love where I work. I truly do! I love just being there when I’m not working and I love being of service there when I am. I’ve wanted this so badly and more than anything for a good long long long while.

4. Prescott, Arizona. That Gratitude List is lengthy! So for today I shall pick:

5. Acts of kindness. They abound here and today there are two to note.
One is Jared and mechanic Scott at ABC CARSTAR (on N. 6th St). I’d had a positive experience with them prior so returned (for service or recommendation). Today they took time out of their busy day to help with clogged windshield sprayer hoses. They didn’t have to do that; when I offered to pay, Jared refused and invited me to return when a need next arises. I will.

The second is Jewels at Home Depot. She was so kind and gracious and friendly in helping my purchase of a floor-demo fan.

Gratitude for all, Jewels and Jared & Scott and Jason and the station.

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