Like sinking into a hot bath.
Like having tired feet messaged.
Like coming and collapsing onto a comfortable mattress after a hard tiring day of work.
Like oozing into a soft seat at a theater for a good movie.
Like sipping from a perfect steaming latte.
Like floating on an ocean.
Ahhhh. The sound of relaxation and retreat. And respite from my roommate.
I came to Flagstaff (AZ) yesterday to rendevouz with my stepmother and dog (alongside with her sister and dog). Her pass-through in Arizona just happened to coincide with my work weekend — fortunate indeed for otherwise I’d have been unable to make the trip.
She treated me to my own room in a nice hotel. The LaQuinta. Quite the upgrade from my usual lodgings of in the back of a Subaru or on the ground on a thin air mattress! And the VERY occasional budget motel room. I’m talkin’ budget basics to the max!
So while this LaQuinta Inn couldn’t be classified as high luxury by global hotel industry standards, by my standards, it’s luxury and more!
Take the pillowtop bed. Waaay more comfortable than the rental bed in my rental room in the rental house. Even one of the trio of differing pillows turned out to be rather comfortable — no easy feat in hotel bedding!
The decor is simple, tasteful, restful, the room spacious enough to move around. The coffeemaker, fridge and microwave are nice amenities. The room’s location at the end of the hall offers privacy and distance from elevator machinations. The silence is enhanced by a view of a hillside of pines outside the windows.
So yeah, a mini-retreat from the grind and laborious routines of this overworked and underpaid housekeeper in Prescott.
Perhaps more importantly, it’s much-needed respite from the confines of a roommate/housing situation.
Amazing how all it takes sometimes is a trip out of town to achieve some distance and perspective on your troubles and ailments. And because for me, being alone on the open highway is therapy, I commonly gain insights and space with the rolls of the wheels.
It took all of maybe 20 minutes on that two-lane highway through Arizona’s high-desert shrubberies and trees to arrive at a clear realization that my “home” situation is actually contributing to a deterioration of my health (physical/emotional/mental).
Further expounding on the how’s isn’t necessary; prior posts have touched on the toxicities of the current “home” arrangements.
However, it took stepping away from it — via this brief out-of-town visit courtesy of my stepmother — to really realize the negative impact. It’s not that I was unaware, but rather in my mastery of enduring the unendurable, a survival skill developed in dare I say infancy, I grit my teeth and soldier on and on, on and on. To my detriment. At the expense of my health, well-being, creativity or peace of mind.
It’s a talent, to be sure, this rugged determination to SURVIVE at all costs.
And a curse.
The end result: Too often I stick around in toxic, hurtful, self-defeating and self-destructive situations when it would’ve been healthier to move on. NOT into a re-enactment and replay of the toxic situation — which we’re all prone to doing if we don’t resolve the true underlying issues — but rather into a truly BETTER and healthier situation, with issues more resolved or put to rest.
My roommate is being who she is. It certainly ain’t up to me to change her. I learned LOOOOOONG ago that you can’t change others, a valuable life lesson tucked under my belt.
A cliche, yes, but I can only change myself.
I do need to move. I do need to live in an environment that recognizes ME. That listens to me and supports me. That’s a call for a mighty change indeed. Almost easier to sail the 7 seas instead!
Anyhow, such are my reflections from my quiet lovely room at the La Quinta Inn in Flagstaff. Oh how the hours fly in this 24-hour retreat/respite! In a while, I’ll have to return to the lifestyle that i know in Prescott, the routines and practices in the workplace and residence that hinder and harm and little support.
Any wonder that in my make-believe world, I’d be signing a lease at the La Quinta Inn and living it up! In peace. Serenity. Positivity. Support.