I did something last night that I’ve been unable to do for months!
Well, sorta did.
I was able to sleep on my left side!!
I’ve alluded to serious health issues and written of injuries to my left neck and shoulder sustained through bad mattresses (in rental rooms) and pillow combination. A long story begun about a year ago that I certainly won’t recount again here. Rather, I’ll only say again that the condition took a massive nosedive in November — eight months ago — and has only continued to worse, degrade and degenerate since.
Among the conditions is an inability to sleep on the left side (site of the initial injury) and shoulder. Searing pain is one word for it. Nerve impingement. Partial tear of the rotator cuff — most probably at the bicep. Immobilization. Frozen shoulder. Twisted tendons and ligaments.
All (and more) applicable to the left shoulder.
A treatment program comprised of many elements, some with a jin shin jyutsu practitioner and some at my own volition & inner guidance, is underway.
I won’t say that it’s a simple course of treatment. Or a simple problem. Far more than the left shoulder’s involved. It’s also the neck, the spine and now the whole of the back in a wide overcompensation.
I now have, in simplest terms, a physical problem that extends from the base of the skull to the tailbone, across the back and from shoulder tip to shoulder tip.
Uh-huh. It’s serious. And WAAAAAAY beyond what I can address, handle or solve on my own. Even my strident singlehanded willpower cannot fix what ails me. Debilitates me. And cripples me.
Very scary words indeed.
Back to last night.
Like I said, I’ve been working diligently with my own multilevel healing processes and a practitioner to arrest the degeneration and regain health and mobility and freedom from pain.
I favor slumber on my left side. That’s been, as I mentioned, completely impossible for months. Thanks to cumulative effects of many varied recovery efforts, my body felt ready last night to “test the waters.” With greatest care — and with my crippled left shoulder cupped supportively in my strong right hand — I GENTLY turned onto my left side.
And my shoulder did not scream back in pain!
That is progress!
I did not force the issue — or position. I remained keenly alert and attentive to my shoulder’s messages on threshold of discomfort and pain. In the side sleep position, my shoulder was up for maybe 5 minutes. Then it said “enough. now move to another position, please.”
Five minutes is more than it’s been able to take in months! It was a gentle 5 minutes. A kind 5 minutes. A loving 5 minutes. It felt FANTASTIC for the whole of me to lie on my left side and favored side for the first time in a long time.
It was as much an accomplishment as a crippled person rising from a wheelchair and walking 3 steps!
While the whole of the night was spent in the adopted fare of positions uncomfortable, unnatural or forced — for the left shoulder is in NO WAY ready or able to accept the weight of sleep — I’m thrilled that it could accept it for 5 minutes.
It is progress. It is accomplishment. It is change.
I would like to say there is hope.