I was awakened from a deep sleep around 8 this morning.
Was it from the sound of the neighbor’s weed-wacker? A barking dog? Kids screaming in play on a Sunday morning?
None of the above.
Was my roommate talking on the phone. Really loudly (her normal range). In the living room. Which is just outside my bedroom.
That is inconsiderate.
She’s the owner so obviously knows my bedroom’s right there! She also knows I’m a night owl and late riser. Yet those ceased to exist — if indeed they existed. I would LOVE to be able to say something to her. Make her aware of the situation and simply request that she take her call to another part of the house. Which is very easily accomplished (with her office, bedroom and backyard out of earshot in my room).
In fact, I was surprised to hear her on the phone in the living room; she normally doesn’t conduct them there.
Like I was saying, I would LOVE to be able to mention it. But I can’t. I cannot. I don’t trust her response. She has a temper and as other recent events indicate not reliably fair or rational. One “misstep” on my part could send the whole housing situation crashing down and next thing I know, I’m evicted. Which I cannot afford on any level.
So I have to swallow everything she dishes out. Whether her actions and dictates are inconsiderate, mean, borderline abusive, irrational or simply stupid, I must comply. I must keep my mouth shut. I must bow and abide. “Yes, mammm. You’re the boss, mammm.” With which she immediately concurred when I said it in jest the other day.
“You’re the mistress, mammmm.”
Yes I Am.
It’s an insult to my intelligence, kindness, thoughtful and cooperative spirit to reside with someone who assumes lordship and dictates as if I were a 5-year-old child.
It’s an insult to my independent and capable self who has lived through A LOT A LOT with no help from anyone and in fact, moreover, hardships and brutalities inflicted by others!
It’s an insult to be forced into this Obedient Child – House Mistress role at age 57! WTF?!?
= = =
Unfortunately, can’t move. Handcuffed by circumstances — lack of employment being key. Can’t get my own place with a source of income for landlord’s paperwork.
And definitely do NOT want to trade in yet one more roommate situation for another. That’s dumb. That’s jumping from the frying pan into the fire. That’s not the solution, as indicated by a truly rugged roommates’ history.
The SOLUTION is: LIVE SOLO.
EMPLOYMENT is the key.
Please, universe, please, bring me my job. Now. Being without an income and work that I so need to be doing are making matters really really tight. Bad. Stressful. Uncomfortable. Imprisoning.
I need my freedom from unemployment and I need my freedom from this unhealthy living arrangement.