So Angry, I’m Ready to Rip Someone’s Hair Out!

Not my own.

In the job market (“market”), nothing makes me feel more like a worthless POS than getting no response to applications for dishwasher jobs.

This is NOT a commentary on dishwashing work. Every job has value in my view, from the groddiest of the groddy to the cream of the crop. And I fulfill every job, from the lowest of the low to the highest of the high with impeccable work ethics, identical commitment to the highest standard of quality and achievement.

I am capable of so so so so much more than dishwashing. I know that. I lived, for example, some 10 years in Japan, working in INCREDIBLY challenging corporate, business, and media settings, among others.

Nothing but nothing challenged and proved my mettle as my career did. And I mean career. I had a career in my FIELD (writing, editing, publishing, journalism) there that I’ve not come close to mirroring in the United States, due largely to lack of opportunity and now a crashed Obama-led economy.

The pain I’m feeling is very real, the frustration is pushing me over the edge into a deepening depression that’s pulling me fast into its undertow. The pain and frustration of not finding work after 1-1/2 months — actually many more, when I include my job search from a pre-Prescott distance.

The despair and disappointments of not being worth even a dishwashing job are killing me.

Have I done dishwashing? YES!!! Since I was like 6 years old. It was just one of many chores in the slave-labor camp that was my childhood, which I didn’t really have. I had a workhood and a slavehood.

I’ve also done it “professionally” — meaning work for which I was paid. It was dirty work, hard work, work that sometimes exhausted me and made me feel really bad about myself and my life and had FAR I had fallen from my life purpose and path.

However, I did not let those feelings of self-loathing and -hatred and darkness in any way shape or form impair my performance. My impeccable work ethics demand that I put EVERYTHING connected to me, my purpose and happiness and everything else, aside and DO. THE. JOB.

{I can feel the sting of the master’s whip on my back, in this lifetime that was my father …}

Dishwashing is dirty grunt work. I excelled at it but that’s because I excell at most everything involving work and tasks. It does NOT mean that “I’m destined to be a dishwasher, neither that it’s my life calling and purpose.”

But damn!! I can fucking do the job. Do you hear me, universe?!? Employers!!??? I CAN FUCKING DO THE JOB. I HAVE DONE IT. I HAVE DONE SO MUCH MORE THAN IT TOO>

And yet …

All the applications put in for dishwashing… one callback and interview … and wasn’t called back for a second.

It kills me, it is killing me to be SOOOO employable … and so WILLING TO DO ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING … and remain unemployed.

This is harder on me than most people because I’m such a worker! My life mission IS work! I want to work. I don’t want no fucking Obama socialist Marxist regime “taking care of me.”

I’m past my wit’s end. I am losing it. I’m sinking fast into depression, the force of the spiral downward stronger than my hope, my optimism.

What is there to be optimistic about? I’m not deemed worthy enough of even a grunt-work dishwashing job.

Goddamn fucking crap economy.

DAMN the Obama-led Socialist Regime that is INTENTIONALLY destroying America and capitalism!

Fuck you to all Americans who voted this Dark Force in — not once but twice!! My dad used to say: “People get the government they deserve.” That’s true, with this important caveat: EXCEPT THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY THINK AND USE THEIR BRAINS in the political arena. They NEVER get what they deserve. They get the shit chosen by the majority, the ignorant, the stupid, the morons. All the same.

Can’t get even a lowly dishwashing job. What does that say about me?

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