White wedding gowns & white heat of Bridezillas


Speaking, as I was yesterday, of the horrors of daytime TV …

The lowest common denominator rises to the top in American TV.

Now, I’d LIKE to think they’re just paid actors following a script, like “Jerry Springer” and “Keeping Up with the Kartrashians.” However, my radar tells me otherwise. Plus it’s no stretch of imagination: Brides CAN be THAT BITCHY.

Bitchy doesn’t cover it. There needs to be a new word. Like “brutalbitchy” … “supersonicbitchy” …. to convey “bitchy on steroids x 100.”

Dysfunctional relating between bride and family, bride and friends, bride and GROOM? To the max! Toxic relationships? Absolutely. Unhealthy communicating. Uh-huh. Hostile, mean and SELFISH women? Ohhhhhhhhh yeah.

And people watch this why?

My short-term viewing has reason and purpose: to educate and enlighten myself about American culture while laid up due to injury and health reasons. When I’m fully back on my feet and the TV’s resumed its normal daytime off status, I’ll not miss that show.  I won’t hunger for reality shows highlighting society’s lowest common denominators. I won’t be taping them.

And, were I a man, I certainly would NOT be marrying these gawd-awful supersonicbitches, the staples of “Bridezilla.” Speaking of staples, quite a few of ’em could stand some of the stomach if they dream of looking fit ‘n’ trim on their — quote: most important day of their lives — unquote. Which, incidentally, has never been a concept I’ve shared or related to.

Bride's day, my way!

Bride’s day, my way!

They’re quite militant about it being THEIR day too. THEIR special day. THEIR most important moment of their lifetime, THEIR wedding. As if the groom doesn’t exist. He has no part and no role except to show up and stand where she dictates, do what she says, smile when she instructs.

(Then she bitches and moans and nags that he’s “so uninvolved in the wedding prep! It’s like he doesn’t care!”  Well, ma’am, have you considered that you’re one scary woman who doesn’t allow him his air to breathe, never mind a voice?)

Not all blame can be put on these supersonicbitches. After all, it takes two to tango, including in the most hostile, passive-aggressive, toxic and dysfunctional of adult relationships. The men (who would be and are grooms) are pansies! Wimps. Brow-beaten even before they’re inside the church awaiting their “lovely glowing beloved future wife” as she walks down the aisle.

(p.s. Take care, she may well have those knives tucked under her garter.)

See, the way I look at it is: Those bridezillas are as responsible for their ferocious meanness and bitchiness and self-centeredness as the men are for their lack of owning their gonads, speaking up, setting boundaries and if not kissing her buh-bye and fleeing fast for the hills — or pub — then at the very least calling off the wedding and calling the therapist for couples counseling. bridez1

My view of the world, I admit, bears no resemblance to the mainstream’s. Like other reality shows that celebrate trashiness and society’s lowest common denominator, “Bridezillas” appeals to a certain wide population exclusive of yours truly.

However, it IS a popular show of duration, a frightening fact indeed. One that inspires me to propose to the TV network powers that be: How ’bout the reality sequel, “Bridezilla and Her Groom on Their Honeymoon” or even “Bridezilla and Her Groom: A Year Later”? With golden rings secured on fingers, the hostile sparks will turn their “wedded bliss” more into “welded bliss.” Ouch!


4 thoughts on “White wedding gowns & white heat of Bridezillas

  1. Are you really sure watching daytime TV is a way to better health? I too wonder what good is it to show those Ramp-marri-age on the boob tube. Cautionary tale? Sinister conspiracy to keep people gleefully living out of wedlock? Good thing I gorge myself on Brit TV and others show of high (moral?) fiber, as they are more filling and have more taste. My DVR has hardly any space left as it is, so all I do is playing catch up with series of seasons past.

    And try watching static instead, pretty sure it’s less damaging to the brain. LOL!

  2. “And try watching static instead, pretty sure it’s less damaging to the brain” – LOL! True, true! However, the purpose of the daytime TV exercise was to educate myself on What America’s Watching and today’s culture as revealed in TV media. In the short-term, it was insightful indeed; in the long term, I’ll stick to well-written novels! 🙂

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