Obamacare Lags, Tongues (& Maybe Heads) Wag

The evil empire is thwarted by purveyors of truth and seekers of light.

The dismantling of liberties and destruction of America and the propagation of lies by the Dangerous Trio, comprising President Barack Obama, liberals and the media, took another hit with today’s update on the enrollment numbers for ObamaCare. AKA ObamaNoCare or the UnAffordable Care Act.

Obamacare Lagging. White House Behind on Getting Under-34s to Sign Up.

Darth Obama, puppet of the Evil Force unseen and unidentified yet palpable and observable to millions of Americans with open eyes and brains of reason and function, has taken an hour from his busy day on the golf course to hold a meeting of his VIPs (Visibly Inept Puppets) and minions to spin the news.

“This will be fixed!” he demanded, pounding his bony fist on the bully pulpit, known historically as the gentleman’s desk inside the Oval Office until his reign began.

“But Mr. President, the public is catching on to our ruse,” whined press secretary Jay Carney. “They’re unable to enroll on the website. It crashes. It’s rife with error messages. It steals private information and forwards it to NSA {the National Spy Agency, uh, National Security Agency}. It charges Americans exorbitant costs for meager laughable health care that couldn’t treat a flea.”

“Soooo, uhhhh, Jay, what’s the problem?” drawled Darth Obama.

“The problem, Mr. President, if I may interrupt,” spoke Vice President Joe Biden, “is that the public’s waking up to the crapola that’s Obamacare. I hate to say it, Mr. President. We all do. Rush Limbaugh’s right.  Your health care plan is a national disaster. A farce. A black stain in American history …”

“Black mark?! RACIST! Disaster?! Off with your head! The heads of the lot of you!”

“But … but, Mr. President,  Obamacare’s unfit to bandage a cut! How in tarnation will it stem that enormous blood loss of our severed heads?” asked a quivering Biden.

“And, Mr. President, how will you explain the swamp of liquid red in the White House floor? It won’t look good for you. It won’t look good any which way,” squeaked Nancy Pelosi, with all the timidity of a mouse.

“Hmmmm. Excellent point, my emaciated ugly-as-hell prison bitch. All right. You can all stay. You can live. But dammit!” shouted the figurehead for the Evil Force, slamming the table harder still and shattering bones in his fragile hand.

“Get those under-34s enrolled! Do what you have to do! Damn the Constitution! Torpedo them with empty promises! Pledge forgiveness of their student loans! Bribe them! We print the money! Tell ’em they’ll never have to work a day in their lives! We’ll grant them lifelong disability for a hangnail and unemployment from cradle to grave! Lord Obama is  their savio….”

CRASH! POW! BAM! BOOM! BLAST!  KAZAM!

Buy tomorrow’s edition for the rest of the story …

+++++++

Daily Prompt 1-13: Click over to whatever website you visit most frequently to get news. Find the third headline on the page. Make sure that headline is in your post.

(Sourced from Fox News.)

 
Advertisements

Talk to Me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s